Friday 10 August 2012


It has been a while since I wrote on here, I have been feeling a bit shit, so I've not really felt up to it.

I'm still navigating the process of having any help at all for my mental health.
The things that have changed.
I'm seeing a different doctor who's not my GP but is absolutely lovely and seems to take a genuine interest in how the whole of me is doing.
I have now been referred by her for definite (i.e. it's in my notes now) to the CMHT who are taking their own sweet time in doing anything about my referral. They're meant to have a 2 week turn around but it's been 3 and still no contact, I'm meant to go back to see her if I don't hear anything in another week or 2.

My meds have been changed, so now I am on Sertraline, the reduction of citalopram mixed with the change to sertraline and this means I have been all over the place while my brain chemistry sorts itself out, especially as my MS has been all over with the heat and doing too much physically.

Also, had my first counseling appointment, was nice to catch up but it is very scary and I'm not sure I feel safe enough to let go and start unpacking things at the moment, I need to actually cope first with day to day life.

Some sources of stress have reduced, some are bigger, overall I feel like I'm just reacting to life now instead of actually having time to think, I'm not very well at all and I keep being reminded of that, and when I do it leads to feelings of inadequacy and the desire to do more and more to fill up the empty. However, I know ultimately this is unsustainable. I really have to try and learn to do pacing, however I also need to have support while doing this as I'm still not coping too well.

Anyways, things are starting to feel like they're getting somewhere, still finding it difficult to stop at all though, I very rarely am not doing something at all. I need to slow down a bit before I break.

Anyways, thought I'd keep y'all updated on my quest to get some form of help.
*waves to everyone*