Sunday 1 May 2011

Mayday - TMI and recuperation

I'm going to take this blog down a new and interesting route, my feelings.
I am an a naturally very open person, an open book, however, certain areas of my life I tend to keep to myself what I do keep to myself I do for a reason, I don't want to share it.
Sometimes this can be positive, sometimes it can be not so good... so here we go

I've not been posting.
I've not been posting because I've not been making.
I've not been making because I have been really messed up inside.

Fenhenge near Ely

I am a very spiritual person even though I have no current religion, I feel an increadible pull to certain times of year, or places, etc.
I'm not sure what I am, I'm not sure it's anyone's business than mine and whoever or whatever may or may not exist by way of deities.
The above picture is Fen Henge, in the grounds of a farm up by Ely and made by friendly people with whom I have spent some great times, I've always felt at home here, at rest and able to just be in the world without having to pretend.
Today is a special day for me, in Pagan terms it's Beltane, it's about fertility and the beginging of the summer and fruition and stuff.

maypole fun!
My sister Elspeth and an unknown child with a
delightful laugh trying to catch the ribbons on the MayPole

I'm not sure about all that, what I am sure about is that both now and halloween are special times for me, I feel as if it's a period of transition (which obviously it is - winter to summer and back) It's as if I need to take a break from reality - the net, the stress, Facebook, bills etc - and get back to reality - friends, family, that wow you get when you look at a landscape, the awe, the weight you feel falling off your shoulders on a shady afternoon in a hammock, a lazy saturday in bed, what really matters.

My gorgeous sister - Elspeth (or Sissie)

I have been through the mill emotionally recently, this lead to a distinct lack of creativity while I have been feeling numb.
Today was about me, it was about rest and feeling peace and that everything will be ok, about regrouping and feeling unanxious and I feel I have turned a corner.

This lovely calf, poor thing, his mum died today,
such a lovely boy, I wanted to take him home but I suspect he wouldn't have fitted in the house for long

So... I guess the point of this post is, I've had my regroup and now I can continue making things.
I guess I thought that the lack of me being about deserved some kind of explaination, but also, I dunno, just feel a bit better for putting this into words.

Me - feeling much better

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