Undateable?

Channel 4 has just announced a series talking about sex/relationships etc. with regard to disability called "Undateable".
Edit: I should have made it clear that I am not only talking about the channel 4 show here but the 70% of people who wouldn't shag a disabled person (from an observer survey through @lisybabe).

For me the term "undateable" itself is highly pejorative and insulting. It may not have been meant to suggest that someone with a disability and/or life limiting condition is in some way less worthy of love but that is outwardly how their advertising appears to be selling the show, that we have less worth within a relationship or are harder to love, though this may be trying to be ironic all it does is perpetuate a stereotype that is just gross and unacceptable.
In my opinion, having to deal with adversity is a commendable trait to have, in fact it often makes someone more emotionally mature, sensitive and capable of having a long term relationship and being more understanding.
In my eyes there's nothing quite so off putting as someone who would be so judgemental as to rule out a huge swathe of the population for dating purposes. Honestly, I find it really unattractive as a personal trait.

Some people might be into blonds or bums or people with glasses, choosiness is fine, however completely excluding people based on one unchangable aspect of their life really says more about the person doing the excluding than the ones being "excluded". I don't believe that it can be classed in the same way as sexual orientation, if you don't find disabled people sexy then fine but if you actively exclude people entirely based on this one part of who they are then you hardly come across as emotionally mature.

Maybe the dicks who are so judgemental as to not be interested in someone with a physical or mental issues purely on that basis are truly the "Undateable" ones!

Social Security: a Person Centred Approach?

It seems to me the government are missing a trick, when looking at getting those in receipt of benefits for sickness and disability back into work they should be thinking in terms of working with the whole person and their situation, not just their work life.

It should be seen more like a health issue (which it is, "occupational health" being such an appropriate term in this context), I have never met anyone who is sick or disabled who doesn't wish they could work, so why can't we actually stop treating "customers" (a grossly misleading term to me when people using the DWP have no choice of provider at all!) as if they are a problem to be managed but people, to be encouraged and helped in order to become all that they can be?

Within Health care and Social care comes case conferences, where the various different "stakeholders" (that is, people with an interest in a person and their well-being) discuss the subject and their needs, plan interventions, with said subject's views being seen as equal.

I'm not saying by any margin that this approach works perfectly currently or that it is without its pitfalls, however I believe that it is seen as the best practice approach in both fields IIRC.

Therefore I propose a shift in Social Security that works with a person centred approach, where you can have case conferences with all stakeholders having a say, GPs, claimants, DWP staff, specialists, occupational therapists etc. all getting together to discuss the amount of work appropriate for a person, the type, quality, etc.

Volunteering should be seen as a viable option for rehabilitation and all these disparate agents should come together to enable long term achievable goals as partners invested in the best outcome for the claimant.

I see absolutely no benefit in getting people off of social security when they will end up back on benefits again and again because they were only found temporary work, or they couldn’t cope with the practicalities of the job, I reckon that it would save money in the long term, improve health outcomes (especially in mental health morbidity) and decrease overall social exclusion if we all worked together for the benefit of all.

I literally have no idea why/how people can have the view that kicking already disadvantaged and ill and disabled people when they are already so down as to have to require help from the state to survive and further disenfranchising them helps anyone, I don’t see that it saves tax payers money. All I can see is that further disabling poor people a new form of serfdom is introduced, cheap, uninformed, uneducated labour. I literally cannot think of another reason.

That makes me sad, but then I think about my proposal and think, well let’s do that then, seems like a good idea to me and what could we possibly have to lose (other than, cheap, uninformed, uneducated labour)?

What is twitter to me?

Twitter's "Fail Whale" (displayed during outages)
has now become almost as ubiquitous
as the Microsoft "Paperclip" once was.

I'm not even entirely sure why I'm writing this when I'm fairly sure that the only people who ever read this blog are on twitter already!

However, it's becoming abundantly clear to me that to "get" it you have to be in it.
It's like the Matrix; you have to see it for yourself. So I guess I felt I would try to put into words what twitter is for me.

Twitter is a cross between Facebook and an instant messaging platform; you are limited to 140 characters, so updates tend to be concise. I think what people don't get is the social bit of the social network aspect of twitter. It is honestly one of the most supportive environments I have ever experienced, it is as involving as you let it become and is much more than simple status updates.

Because everything on twitter is public (other than direct messages and messages from protected accounts) it’s a very open environment, because of the way it works you can see conversations between the people you “follow” take place in front of you. In this way you can jump in when appropriate (and sometimes not so appropriate). 

It very much has the feeling of being in a pub or a coffee shop with conversations taking place all around you; you can pick up and drop conversations more easily than in real life.

In my opinion, the absolute key to a successful relationship with twitter is numbers. If you follow less than about 60 people (and by people I do not mean celebrities) you just don’t get the interactions that make it work.

In order to know who to follow I would suggest simply ask someone who you already follow, if you’re completely new to twitter and have no ideas then maybe do a search on subjects that interest you, as your circle of followers and followees opens up you will probably need a client like Tweetdeck or Seismic to enable you to be able to truly experience it.

Twitter is like all the best and worst parts of social interactions, except there’s less rules to stop you having to endure the bad bits!

At this point I really wouldn’t be without it, I get most of my news from it (albeit I wait until someone like Reuters or the Beeb posts about it before believing it at face value) you learn what you can trust, same as with any other form of media.

 I tend to be better informed about current events than I used to be, however, there is the slight issue of being too connected, a twitter buddy once wrote a blog post about the difficulty in “switching off” (see @Puffles2010) and I understand the issue only too well; however, I feel that in general the benefits massively outweigh the bad bits.

What I do find is that other people just don’t understand why I am so taken with what seems to them to be a social network akin to Facebook or something, which seems to be filled with subversive political monsters or narcissistic celebrities (how the “mainstream media” tend to portray it) possibly dependant on the day of the week and the wind direction as far as I can tell.

I think one of the most important points about twitter is that it is, like life, what you make it, however, I really love the interconnectedness of this interface.

And yes, if I’m honest, it does feel a bit like being part of Borg v 0.00000.00027 but you know what? Bring it on! What could possibly go wrong? *winky face*

Am I completely insane to feel like I am part of a huge network people connected by ideas and art and humour and politics and TV or not? What do you think?

The Lie of Capitalism!

This is what the capitalists want! They want me to have all the pretty things but I must resist believing their lies and remember the reality of purchasing things with all my moneys! Ohhh.... Shiny! WANT!

Beautiful!

Stop the division!

I am sick of everything being “fat girls this” “thin girls this” When having an issue with a “#fatstippernames” hashtag how does it actually help to come in with a “#fatgirlsarebeautifulbecause” hashtag? While I obviously agree that any hashtag aimed at making fun of people is a horrible thing and that the hashtag causes great offence, however is the other one actually much better? Especially when filled with venom about “thin girls”!

Why do we feel the need to split ourselves into right and wrong, good and bad? Can we not actually just be individuals, all beautiful in our way? Can we not aim to validate people by their uniqueness, or their hearts, or hell, by their looks, but not by attempting to belittle others? Fat girls can be beautiful because they frigging are! Skinny girls can be nice because they are! Why does a hashtag meant to make people feel better just become a way of being snarky about the moral values or looks of the other people?

SICK OF IT!

Let’s all just be wonderful ok? Don’t need to make other people small to make yourself happier, we can all do it! We can all be lovely, ok? Coz we are!

That simple!

Occupy - Politics Rant

So, 

I made a massive train booking fail that meant Faye and I were taking trains home that were 2 hours apart. I attempted to change it but apparently this was going to cost over £50!!!! To take the train 2 hours earlier I wouldn’t/couldn’t do it and so I had 2 hours to kill.

Lovely place!

I went to visit the Occupy Leeds protest in City Square. We walked past on the Friday but they hadn’t set up yet and I hadn’t been in that area of the city since. So anyways, I arrived, was greeted with a friendly hello, a safe place to store my bags while I hung out with them and a cuppa!

We chatted about all sorts, there was an ITV Journalist there who conducted an interview, there were people coming to and fro, there were members of the public who were asking about the camp, or wanting to discuss the politics behind it, wanting to express solidarity, donating food or just saying Hi.

So yeah, the overwhelming feeling was that of being invited into a family as soon as I arrived. My overwhelming feeling from the movement is that we want more equality; whether people are there for financial, political or social reasons they want a fairer society. Whether Socialist, or Communist or anti-capitalist, or anarchist or whatever, they want everyone to be happy, they are unhappy with the current stratified system whereby the rich get richer, while the poor get poorer.

It was wonderful to feel so welcomed, and I loved the feeling of acceptance, I highly recommend that you go check it out! Take some soup, or biccies, or just yourself!

Apparently they have enough teabags

(The ranty bit)

People tend to ask what the point is, when the system can’t/wont/might not change, to them I ask, what other choice do these people have? How can someone trapped within make a difference? When we live in a society where it costs more than 1 million (I can probably dig out a reference from somewhere if anyone needs it) to become an MP. A country where 1 vote makes naff all difference, and when we do get out and vote 50% turnout is unmanageable, where violence is condemned yet  peaceful protest is thought of as ineffective and pointless. What are we meant to do when the rich wish us to feel powerless and lucky to gain the handouts we can, to clean the crumbs from the table and to be thankful for it?

This is what we do! This is how we make ourselves heard, Louise Mensch said that if you embrace coffee, that if you benefit from capitalism or any system one assumes, that you cannot complain about it. To her I ask whether she would try the same logic on a slave, that if you live in a house owned by your owner, that you eat the food given to you by them, that you wear the clothes given to you by them then you must necessarily be fine with being in bondage?!

Quite frankly, Bollocks! That is the most ridiculous logic I have ever heard!

Apologies if this is a bit fragmented... I’m feeling headachy on a train and I don’t have a coherent head!